Crazy Things People Do….
Every thief knows that if you are going to commit a crime, it is a good idea to have a disguise. However, this clueless pair didn’t have the typical bandana handy, so they improvised with a permanent marker… “Scribble…Scribble…Scribble… that should do it.. what do you think? Gee, I don’t recognize you… now let me borrow that marker and I’ll put on my disguise…”
Dumb Schmucks!
Authorities have filed charges against a Costco auditor for filing phony travel expenses. A police investigation has led to charges against a 40 year old man who allegedly embezzled $60,000 over a 18 months by filing expense reports for 69 business trips during the 18 month period. The defendant initially agreed to meet with a police detective to discuss the case, but said he first had to go to the bathroom. Instead he left the building. He later called his Costco supervisor and “was frantically stating he did not want to go to prison.” The supervisor asked the defendant to return to the office to discuss the matter, but he refused.
Police in Alabama have arrested a woman for having her 13 year old daughter ride in a cardboard box atop her van. The woman has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child and the child has been turned over to a relative. Police say that the woman claimed ‘the box was too big to fit inside the van, and she (the daughter) would be able to hold it down (on top of the van) if she was inside the box.” The woman told police that the child was safe because she had secured the box to the van with a coat hanger.
A war history buff has a bit of explaining to do to with his neighbor. Specifically why he fired a 2 lb cannon ball through his neighbors house!
I bet this one will be difficult to explain to the insurance company…. I think his rates will be going up soon.
“Police in northeast Tennessee say Scott Gibson isn’t the deputy director of the CIA – and he’d have to pay his $75 speeding fine even if he were.”
It happens to us all sooner or later in life… seeing those blue lights flashing behind you. Your heart begins to race and you get that sick to the stomach feeling. Some people get so nervous or mad that they don’t think straight. Clearly we have few lessons to learn from this schmuck who wasn’t quite with it when he mailed back his speeding-cam citation with a hand written note claiming he was immune from the fine because he was the deputy chief of the CIA.
Lesson 1: No matter how mad you are about a ticket or citation, think twice before impersonating a federal law enforcement official.
Lesson 2: $75 is expensive for a ticket, but a lot less expensive than a night in jail and federal charges…
Lesson 3: If you mess with law enforcement you can expect to have the book thrown at you!
1. To get hit by something. e.g. “I got schmucked by a spit ball.”
2. An encounter with a Schmuck. e.g. ” I got schmucked today by a schmuck who cut me off while merging onto the freeway. The schmuck nearly cost me my life!”
Police in California have arrested a man for driving on a suspended license who reportedly tried to dupe someone into buying a oven door disguised as a TV. Police pulled the man over after receiving an anonymous tip that a man was trying to sell him a TV out of his car in the Wal-Mart parking lot.
Police in Salem Oregon arrested a burglary suspect caught red handed wearing only the underwear of the victim.
Police say a woman called 911 to report her boyfriend found an intruder in the victim’s garage. Deputies arrested a 47 year old man wearing only the victims underwear. The woman told investigators that several items of clothing had gone missing in the past few months. Police later found garbage bags full of women’s clothing, underwear and shoes along with illegal fireworks in the suspects garage who lives near by the victim.
Authorities in Colorado have billed a man who falsely reported a plane crash. Sheriff officials say the man, 59 was drunk when he reported that his arm was severed and that 12 other people died in the crash. Investigators traced the call to the man.
Lesson: If you are drunk, put down the phone. You will live to regret it…
A Texas-sized inmate faces charges for possession of a firearm at a correctional facility after he told guards about a 9 mm pistol. 500-pounder George Vera was searched twice during his arrest for selling illegal copies of CD’s but officers never found the weapon. Vera admitted he had the gun during a shower break.